| the end |
[Wednesday
February 27th, 2008 @ 1:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sentimental |
] |
This is my last entry
I can't delete this because there
are too many memories soooooooo
i'm changing the password to
random letters and then copy and pasting so
I can never log back in. PERFECT,
I just want to say that
it's been really fun
posting in here since god knows when.
My heart is spilled onto these pages,
just keep in mind that it isn't the real me.
|
|
|
| nature is a language, can't you read? |
[Sunday
February 24th, 2008 @ 10:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
smiths - ask |
] |
I been working alot,
a part of me wants to go back to my old way's
and digress, but I know
it's not smart to take a step back.
Especially cuz I feel as if I have
gained so much ground...
Shyness had me by the balls,
but i'm still missing something!
Why the fuck do people try to push me into
things like asking a girl for her #??
Come on, i'll let you push me into
anything else, I know it's nothing secret
you just fucking say it. You know the words, but
your afraid to speak them.... That's my
sad story,but itll get better
before it get's worse.
i'm not the cutest or
most impressive but i'm
not bad :].
Friday was chill, nice
and laid back.
Saturday was amazing
me n zoe didn't go to sin
but just hung out at her place
after I got out of work. I
got to tell her how I feel
about her and it felt good to get it off my
chest. Seeing
her smile at me.
I hope she don't feel as If I am
dependant on her, but
it's probably the truth.
Ahah but we won't mention these things,
I love that girl.
Somehow, I got into morrissey lol
damnit the man can sing!!
A few people in my life just gobbled it
up and I find myself doing the same
now.
Tommorow...Bin maintenance
at 7am, i'll probably be half asleep
while im in there. Daydreaming about
all the fun shit
I could do if I truly wanted.
|
|
|
| :X |
[Thursday
February 21st, 2008 @ 2:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
morissey :P - suedehead |
] |
I feel like im biting off more then I can chew
|
|
|
| UAaaaaaughmmmmmmm |
[Tuesday
February 19th, 2008 @ 8:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
deadmau5 - project 56 |
] |
wow, it's been about
3 years almost since the last time I
seen ma grandma. She's such a nice person
to me and my brother, she treats us
like we're made out of gold.
AMongst my parents she is like
sweet to my mother, but with my dad
it's different cuz he always rags on her shortness.
the past few days have been nice....
Thinking earlier,
I realized that alot of my problems
stem from not being able
to own up to my words,
little promises...Large promises,
most of it is on the count of procrastination.
Seems like the only person I ever have
to blame is myself. I'm slowly going to get
better
at this and own up to my words. What
good is a man if you can't believe
in what he says. I've missd out on
so much.
Lately i've been stringing people
in, it's usually on accident.
Just some of them, I can't
stand and the others are sweet
but theirs something wrong with
every situation. Whup, maybe I should slow
the fuck down, I mean im already high
but my mind is racing...
This is some good shit ....
I'm not gonna start drama tho,
that isn't in my nature.
People need harmony in their
lives, what good would I be
if I coulden't bring them that?
Instead ruining the flow of things,
and interferring. Yaaaa I'm
straight, i'm not even
in any kind of rush...just floating
along this
river of music
while staring up at the moon that
chills with the stars. Yessss
ssssssssss
|
|
|
|
[Monday
February 18th, 2008 @ 10:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
incubus - dig |
] |
omg
suddenly
i began to feel so much better...
hah wtf
is up
with me
|
|
|
| X_X |
[Sunday
February 17th, 2008 @ 10:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
air on g string |
] |
I've just got to hold on a little
longer
and
then ill be free...
|
|
|
| hahaha |
[Friday
February 15th, 2008 @ 1:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
eminem - superman |
] |
my v-day was a fluke,
bitch didn't even know how to use
chopsticks and she's fucking asian!!!
ROFL
>:/
|
|
|
| beautiful |
[Monday
February 11th, 2008 @ 1:08pm] |
= today
I'm so glad it's not as
cold, I use to be
a freak about the rain and
putting on a sweater to get warm but
after this winter I feel differently,
and today I woke up feeling
something familiar, but I can't quite put
my finger on it. It's good though,
makes me feel grateful to be here.
I am ready for the summer's heat,
but of course there is the beautiful
spring to plow through. Ahhhhhhh
the season of blooming flowers
and mild weather. I love it
|
|
|
| it's possible... |
[Monday
February 11th, 2008 @ 12:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 . |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
beatles - I Want You (She's So Heavy) |
] |
Friday saw Juno with Sarah
WOW I fell in love with a person that
isn't real. LOLOLOL no really though,
I wish someone like that was real!
:[
Alyss sent me a random text,
"Saltine Crackers and strawberry jelly, yes
or no?"
RANDOM
GOD DAMNITTTT I want to go to SF
and fuckingg tackle her
then start ripping off her cloth-
er shake her hand.
saturday me and all the homie's got faded
as FUCK at anthony's, haha EVERYONE looked
like this
-_-
Chris lives there now,
the house of fucking PAIN.
Wow, shits getting real.
|
|
|
| coincidence |
[Thursday
February 7th, 2008 @ 6:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
haha I just got a fortune cookie that said
"discover the talents within yourself"
been awhile since i had panda,
thought it was funny that I was just
bitching last night about feeling
a loss of it.
Hahahaa
I'll try!!! +] +]
|
|
|
| epic dreams of complex structure |
[Thursday
February 7th, 2008 @ 2:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
traffic |
] |
WARNING : THIS IS JUST ME RAMBLING, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ IT
IF YOU ARE NOT A FAN OF READING POINTLESS SHIT THEN SHY AWAY NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
I HAVE to go to court at 7 in the morning today....Son of a bitch, mother
fucker !!! SHIT, there is no point in sleeping,
i'm going to
ramble. I hate judges, they are like fucking
robots
just cranking out people that come in
out over and over saying the same god damn thing
when I see it I kinda just laugh it's funny to me
that something so human can seem so far from it,
if I could I would take a shit on all of the
bailef's faces. Those guys are always
dicks...HAHAHAAHA
So I was all bored watching tv,
noticed this anime on adult swim called
eureka, and I laughed
it's a complete spin off of
neon genesis (the only series I could
watch over and over again and
still not get) Both series have a main
charecter young boy, both pilot large
robots they have their differences however
the main one from eureka is soo much like
shinji that it pisses mee off, and to top it off
he's in love with a blue haired girl who
talks with almost the same
voice that rei uses! They even have
the annoying red headed girl that's
a bitch to everyone while
maintaing a huge ego. They all fly "special"
giant robots.
kinda pissed me off
can't these assholes come up with new shit
other then flying robots and the
end of teh world scheme? One guy does it 10 years ago
when it hadn't been done before and those
bastards STILL crank out the same shit, kinda
lame...GIVE US SOMETHING NEW FUCK UR
OVERUSED GIANT ROBOTS. I GOT THE PERFECT IDEAAA...
NINJA CATS!!!! Doesn't matter what the fucking story is
just give me some damn nninja cats with swords
and ninja stars and the masks and the ultra fast
movement speeds. HELL YES,
Their enemy's would be samurai's
and it would be like a ultimate death match
to the very end, and it would be sad
because it would start off with LOTS of ninja cats
and they develop bonds with
eachother and one by one they
start getting killed off. HAHAHA of
course samurai's die too...man I think I
might have something :P
I will now take time to post a favorite quote of mine..
"Do your own thing, wherever you have to do it and whenever you want.
Drop out. Leave society as you have known it.
Blow the mind of every straight person you can reach.
Turn them on to beauty, love, honesty, fun."
found it on rl don't know if it's off of someone else but
it really turns me on
to lliving.
I really don't know how I am going to last
already I can feel the horrible effects of being
awake for too long. I must take the time to
say just that people are amazing sometimes,
really once you get down to the core you
see the real beauty and then it's ok to
be open because
your not afraid of getting hurt.
hahaa
STFU DR PHIL
Heath ledger was cool,
i'm definetly watching the dark knight when it
comes out this summer!!!! It's going
to be the last performance of his
career and will be what he will be remembered
for, instead of brokeback mountain. If not entirely they
should both mirror eachother
in impact. An actor like that
playing a psychopathic clown with
zero empathy? AMAZING!!!!
This guy fucked up though, he had
a little daughter, damnit...He could
have not been so hard on the damn
drugs. Shit happens but if your going
to do that shit then you should excercise
some moderation, I can;'t
believe that
you could just throw your life away, like all those
other guys who did itl. Fucking Chris Farley man,
saame shit.. DRUGS!!! hahaha we all miss farley,
fuck...When I was just a little kid I saw tommy boy
and for some reason that line
"That's gonna leave a mark" would
make me BUST the fuck
up, hahha :[ Always gotta respect
the fat funny dudes.
......ya 12345678910
Don't - push
me -cause
-im close-
to the edge-
im trying-
not to lose- my head.
it's like a jungle sometimes,
it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.
:p <33333 I'm done.
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
February 6th, 2008 @ 9:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 experimental |
] |
I got a valentine, she's
a gemini and we're gonna go grub on
sushi. CANT WAIT!!!!
I tried to write something but
it took me a while to realize
that it's been a while since
ive come up with new material.
I need to experiance and grow as a person
b4 I can write anything else,
so itll be a while before I get
something worthy down.
Honestly, i'm thinking
this may be it for me and my writing endeavours.
I have not recieved any form of inspiration
whatsoever, and i'm not good anymore
at least in my own eyes. I will
either find something in the next
few months to get me back into it
or I will probably stop all together.
Fuck
contemplating IT Family's SIN city at
the hudson on feb23rd.
Goldie, Donald Glaude and Kristina sky are spinning
all whom know how to lay down sick tracks.
Groove tickets has them on their top 10
and pre sales are up the roof wwhich
means there should be plenty of others attending.
It's not a massive but this is my chance to get out
there
and fucking RAVE!
Needa practice my dancing skills +]
and lightshow teqniques.
Weill see thoughh...
|
|
|
| valentines day |
[Sunday
February 3rd, 2008 @ 7:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
star guitar |
] |
I think this my be the first year that I have one,
well I hope so
not to be a PUSSY
but I needa experiance it at least
once before I turn 20, this
be my last chance.
Oh yeah, i wanted to talk about friday
ThAT SHIT WAS A TRIP!!!!
Took 2 grams of some unknown mushies,
because of previous experiance i was
a little worried that it woulden't be enough but
they were strong as fuck.
I got the kind of trip
that makes you feel good
and then it makes you feel bad.
I felt petrified sometimes,
and the great mystery's of life
poked at my body making me feel upset
in every way.
Suddenly at times I would find myself
in intense moments of peace and oneness
with nature, at one point we were in the mountains
and it was completely quiet. I looked
up
and saw all the stars in the sky,
adn felt the extreme cold
while hearing all the crickets chirping their
night song. I felt like I was being
given a hug, eric and his gf were holding each
other and even though they weren't tripping
I felt as if their love for one another was
bouncing off of them onto me.
Haha it's hard to explain but I felt
as if I was one with the universe...
The world is such a hard thing
to understand sometimes, but
I feel like even it's many
flaws can't stop me from believing
in it's beauty....
<33333
|
|
|
| shrooms |
[Saturday
February 2nd, 2008 @ 1:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
aha - take on me |
] |
breathe in deeply... it's just in your head.
|
|
|
|
[Friday
February 1st, 2008 @ 12:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
poetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
circa |
] |
Running as fast as I can towards change,
I want to be something that's simple and free.
Like the grass in a field,
or the birds on a tree.
I was running so far,
that I coulden't see behind.
Back then, I was foolish
and blind.
Do you know
what it feels like to lose
a part of you?
It stings...
Then blood get's everywhere,
and it's hard to clean.
Now i'm feeling like a feather
getting blown by the wind.
I'm not going to land
anywhere in particular.
Only sometimes,
when the speed picks up and I get
blown really high
into the sky.
Where i'll float with airplanes,
and pretend to fly
before I fall down.
|
|
|
| new |
[Thursday
January 31st, 2008 @ 11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
I have a new found sense of confidence...
Some of it came from my new friends,
and alot of it came from
the simple idea of being
able to do anything I want.
Also,
I lost my chance with Alyss
because I wasn't
confident enough.
IT's BULLSHIT
i'm done being shy.
I can fucking do anything I want
It's the truth,
remember always
you are only limited by your mind.
Humans are capable of many things,
good and bad. Use
your body and your soul
for whatever purpose you see fit.
Don't just do what you think you can do,
you can do so much more then just what you
THINK.
I feel different,
and more alive
then I ever did before.
It is time for a celebration.
|
|
|
| girls |
[Wednesday
January 30th, 2008 @ 6:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
refreshed |
] |
I have three on my fingertips,
well one is just slightly there.
I'm just tired of being alone,
I think I already know who I want the most,
this weekend i'm gonna put in some work!
Hahahaahahaha, all smiles though
I never really thought of myself
as attractive, and I think I have
the charm of a old man but
somehow I got this.
I'm exactly where I want to be,
finally...It took me awhile to climb out
of the SHIT hole I dug myself into.
All this fresh air feels good
*breathes in deep through nostrils*
ahhhhhhhhhhh :]
eedit : I forgot to mention how strange it was to have
that dream and then to for some reason spit out blood
in the sink after I brushed my teeth, it wasn't gum bleeding...
Tripped me the fuck out!
|
|
|
| i'm |
[Monday
January 28th, 2008 @ 9:23pm] |
always happy,
and i'm not sad
about anything that has happened.
I know that the best is yet to come,
and it's just a few steps in front of me.
|
|
|
| :[ |
[Saturday
January 26th, 2008 @ 9:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
I hate being a PK....
You would
NEVER understand.
|
|
|
|
[Friday
January 25th, 2008 @ 1:38am] |
|
|
|
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| |
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] |
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thexlastxgooch's journal
